User blog:Bobdave/Bob and Loygan's Too Swaggy To Handle Rap Battles of Too Swaggy To Handlery - Dick vs Willy
So Loyg and I are making a new crap battle series. Jizz. The Battle BOB AND LOYGAN'S TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLE RAP BATTLES OF TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLERY! DICK VS WILLY! BEGIN! DICK: This won't be hard! WILLY: I beg to differ, you tard! DICK: Dude, that was my rhyme, why did you steal it? I have a cock, do you want to feel it? COCK: Bawk! WILLY: I stole your rhyme because I am a thief But there's one thing that you'll never get stolen, your virginity, good grief! DICK: Your mum would beg to differ, baby I didn't have sex with her, she's just a nice lady WILLY: No, I beg to differ! My shaft is stiffer! I have a package for YOUR mum that I'd like to give her! DICK: Is it flowers? I don't give her many! There's a guy named Peter and his peter is bendy! PETER: I'm Peter! My wife, I beat her! My car's a five-seater! My nan's name is Rita! I'm diseased, ask Blackbeard Your facial hair's disabled, call it spackbeard WILLY: Your nan? Boy, I just can't wait to meet her But you beat your wife? You're really not a Nice Peter! JOHNSON: Shut your fucking dicks, you fucking dicks Give my fucking dick a fucking lick My rhymes are fucking sick, and so's my fucking clique I'll make this fucking quick, so get 'em John Thomas! JOHN THOMAS: Monty Python uses me while you are all losers, see I attended the Queen's Diamond Jubilee! Tits? Boobily! Dick, Willy, Peter, Johnson and John Thomas fall over as a mighty penis approaches, creating earthquakes with each mighty step ACTUAL PENIS: I'm the baddest and the raddest, gonadest pimp of them all! Even when I'm soft I'm larger than you, I just made you fall! Dick, Willy, Peter, Johnson and John Thomas all get up, ready to teach Actual Penis a lesson DICK: Time for Dick to come and dick this dick in his dick You're a dick! Also, you're a dick! Did I mention you're a dick, prick?! WILLY: I'll get the lube out and drown you You're such a clown, you! PETER: Peter will beat ya like I do my wife I do my wife in the ass, you have no wife, get a life! JOHNSON: You fucking suck, what fucking luck That I'm fucking stuck against this fucking fuck JOHN THOMAS: These genitals are far from incredible or edible You're only a dick, you have zero testicles Tits? Breasticles! ACTUAL PENIS: How dare you spit against me? You rub me the wrong way You should be stroking me like this- Actual Penis grows a hand and starts masturbating ACTUAL PENIS: -fuuuuuuuuuck! Actual Penis ejaculates over Dick, Willy, Peter, Johnson and John Thomas ACTUAL PENIS: Now you're all drenched in my goo, oooooh! You guys all suck and smell of poo, woooo! WHO WON?! WHO'S NEXT?! UH, I DUNNO! BOB AND LOYGAN'S TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLE RAP BATTLES OF TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLERY! Who Winned? Dick Willy Peter Johnson and John Thomas Actual Penis Category:Blog posts